From The Road
Letters To
The Horizon
Not travel logs. A collection of places, thoughts and fragments gathered while walking toward somewhere that keeps moving.
Day 316 food log
Budget Me €10 Radka €10 Coffee -3 each We are testing food today, we have 2 noodles 73g each,€1.1 500g cherry tomatoes €1.89 Cheese slices €3.23 300g, Bread 1.77 500g Humous 1.38 200g The plans to see if this enough and for how long total spent - €8.05
Went on a walk figured out what’s next
I’ve been contemplating how the next chapter will kick off. I’ve got some constraints to be work around, Türkiye operates on the same system as Schengen 90 days in 180 out. The good news is I’ve known this from when I entered the country and always known I wouldn’t make it through the entirety of the country. Crossing in the heat has resulted in my slowest pace approximately 350km crossed in 45 days. Many breaks taken, I treated turkiye completely different to how I started the journey, I slowed down to meet, connect, learn and engage. This created so many experiences that otherwise I would have missed. Now I think on how I move forward from here, Do I go to Syria|Egypt or with my Schengen dates available again, before truly continuing to the next continent do I complete the broken line. This is how I think it through, August temperatures France/italy 28-32 Syria/egypt 35-40 Logistics and gear Few key essentials missing - Down jacket, satellite phone, Glasses All “disappeared” - Shoes have holes on the soles - my sponsor has struggles getting them to turkiye or Georgia but are based in Italy as well Jacket - good condition - not waterproof Finances 😅😅😅😅 Running costs are lower moving forward Opportunity matches this Moving backwards Logistically I’m reachable, sponsorships, gear, re supplies etc My personal interest would be moving forward - a whole new world awaits Balancing all of this, I’m quite set on going back to nice and closing the gap from there to the peak of Montenegro as the world cools down - summer ends and winter begins 2-3 months is what it would take to close the gap - 1300km Maybe less With that I wouldn’t have enough time to cross Greece but maybe Bulgaria (though I’m not going to think of this till it’s done and I see how long I have left) Türkiye would also be off the table with sub 20 days left as of writing this, But I will ensure to leave a few days (lesson learnt) for future crossing purposes. This should mean however that I close out the year in Europe, with the aim of making awesome videos that will hopefully carry this journey forward. I’ve also had a lot of time to think of how I want to capture this journey and I think it’s time I go back to roots. I love how I started the journey and these days I miss the continuity and communication with the community we built. So that’s the move. Also Not really scared of dogs anymore, Spent enough time in mountains to know bears or wolves aren’t hunting me. So let’s hope for a braver move forward. That’s all for now Picture attached because I can never find it and I like it :) Swae out
Now I write for me
By the coast again, Can’t hear the waves my musics playing, To be honest, There’s a few people I’d love to speak to right now, But somethings telling me not to call, To just have this moment for myself. I figured out what’s next that’s reassuring, How that happens is less reassuring still I believe in my abilities to figure it out. At least I have direction now, I’d been wondering for a while. I’m quite impressed by how I’ve handled all of this, Less than a week removed from 300 days and my resolve is as unshakable as it was when i left. I don’t want to quit haha, I want to be the guy that had a dream, And against all odds pulled that shit off. After all when I look at myself in the mirror, I want to know, This N doesn’t miss That’s the truth, I don’t use the word challenge anymore, This is now nothing more than a dream for me, I live a dream, And my job is to keep the dream machine alive, Wouldn’t that be something; And imagine if my new dream (mental) Could come true, Imagine if somehow through living my dream, I can help others live both their life and their dreams. Wouldn’t that be something, Well I’m a lucky man, Earl nightingale said a successful person is anyone working towards a worthy ideal of their choosing I guess I’m pretty freaking successful, With no accomplishment to show for it, Other than starting, Adapting and continuing, I really have fallen in love with the journey, It’ll be a bitter sweet day the day I reach Kenya, Maybe that’s how Kobe felt when it was time to retire, The journey was beautiful but then it was time to pivot, Dear Swaleh, This is Swae here, Brother, You wouldn’t believe the things we’ve done together, We’ve spent close to 300 days crossing the world, We’ve walked through, England, France, Montenegro, Albania and in part Turkiye, We went through Georgia and fell for someone (honestly 50/50 of it lasts but it was good while we had it), made friends, climbed mountains and swam on our 4/5th sea of the journey. We’ve had thousands of minor beautiful encounters and hundreds of those more meaningful. Learnt to communicate even if basic in more languages than one hand has fingers, Tasted foods, drank with the Shepard atop the mountains, like bro I recently watched the video from before we left home. We were courageous but also doing this for a different reason It might be fair to say at first in part we were running away from something, maybe it was justified, maybe not idk and I don’t care. I just know where we are, and the life we live now and it was the right move. The lesson, be bold, be brave and just do it. You don’t know what’s on the other side of the leap, It’s going to be tough sometimes but who cares, Such is life, Love Swae
Back in istanbul
I guess I don’t write as much as I wish I would but let’s see how I do recalling, I spent just over a month in Georgia, A trip I expected to be longer and purely focused on work. Instead, It was the opposite, I made friends early, Travelled the country, Swam in my 4th or 5th sea of the walk who’s even counting, Climbed a mountain, And fell for a woman I just met. I lived what for many would be completely abnormal, But for me it felt normal, Or at least different to the absurdity of my reality, There was a level of consistency that was unfamiliar and beautifully refreshing. I’d want to write about so much but most important to me were the people I met, At the centre of which was a woman, Wow what a woman. I often imagine myself to be the type of person that covers the corner of the table, I never expected to find someone who calms the shakiness of my leg, Someone who I cherished every moment with, What a woman. I guess I said that already haha. By now she’s a memory, But then she was a wonderful cocktail of adventure, laughter, joy and depth. The friends all remarkable people, Luka an incredible boxer and better person, Saba the quiet friend - but when he speaks it’s moving, Kosti and Tamta - a mistake that was not a mistake wonderful people, Adela sestra picha with so much love to the joy she could bring to any room even when exhausted, Jachim and Nicole a young couple with such a good energy, And finally moj princezna Radka - I don’t have words for they’d fail to do our experiences justice. The country of Georgia, Remarkable, A mix of Balkan energy, Western European commercialism and a orthodox Christianity, A beautiful mix though I will admit the food was good until I got tired of everything being bread 😅 I spent a month travelling the country, With friends from different parts of the world, Different groups for every stage and I loved all of it. I wish to never forget my time there or the people I met. Now I’m back in Istanbul, Sat by the south sea of Fatih, In a calm state, Still reminiscing on what reality was just a week ago, Calculating what the next steps will be, Wondering if the future, Still broke but who cares it’ll figure itself out, I just need to get there, The universe will figure the rest out. Swae out, And I’ll see you when I see you
Day 285
The last few days have been something. I just woke up in my tent in a place called mtsheka and I didn’t wake up alone. I have complaint. - a friend, a girlfriend a long time travel partner I’m not sure which but there’s another human here. Feels different but so far I feel like I’ve lost none of my autonomy and one gained companionship. I’m now trying to get back to turkiye, it starts with getting to Kutaisi from tblisi yesterday we tried to hitch hike and failed leaving the city was our greatest accomplishment but no major distance followed. The day before we learnt a valuable lesson. While staying with our friend Luka in Tblisi we got a call at midnight, there was a lost Canadian homeless man, legs not working abandoned in a Airbnb and we had to take him to the bathroom literally then put him in bed while trying to figure out what’s the best we can do for him. This started at midnight, this was a 4 hour ordeal. Luka has since informed me his family is coming to collect him. In the last two weeks, I’ve climbed mountains, slept on a courage on top, laughed with the Shepard at 2km altitude over some chacha with friends, swam in the Black Sea, ran on black sand at urike beach, carried a homeless man to bed and the toilet, broken a laptop, lost my glasses, lost my down jacket, emptied great company, danced in Tblisi parks, eaten as a family on multiple occasions. Today I woke up in my tent, a bit hot and sweaty, I’m going to aim for Kutaisi before I show down and aim to get back to turkiye. I’ll be seeing family there for the first time in a long time, I don’t know how much longer I’ll have the company I have either. The most likely outcome is by the time I return to the road I return to a solo life. Laptop broken - returning to Uk for repairs or cash Drone - to be sold funds needed for travel Insta360 received - gifted to assist with story telling It’s a bit messy but it’s also smooth. Things are figuring themselves out
Day 264 - the calm
In this moment I’m laying on the terrace at my hostel in Kutaisi with a kitten sleeping on my stomach. Editing, listening to Frank ocean, enjoying the company of my new friends. Sat in the centre of my peace. I’m learning hope simple it can all be, how little I really need. To be content is to be rich.
Every L is a Lesson
I was travelling to Georgia for a short break from the expedition to rest my body and raise funds for the next leg of my journey. The journey was supposed to take 17 hours. Around 1 a.m. we stopped for a toilet break. After I’d finished, I noticed one of my fellow passengers making his way around the bathroom. He was an elderly blind man. He was slowly feeling his way through the unfamiliar space, unknowingly walking towards an occupied urinal. I gently placed my hands on his shoulders and guided him in the right direction. We couldn’t speak the same language. But in that moment, he had no choice but to trust me. It’s a remarkably vulnerable position to be in. I guided him back out of the toilet and onto the bus, where others who spoke his language could help him further. Eventually, we all settled back down and I drifted off to sleep. Some time later I woke up and stepped off the bus. I had no idea we’d broken down. The first thing I noticed was where we were. The sun was beginning to rise over the Anatolian landscape, and it was breathtaking. Then I looked to my left. The elderly man was standing there too. He was surrounded by a beauty his eyes could never reveal to him. Only then did I realise why we were all outside. The bus had broken down. Strangely, I wasn’t frustrated. Instead, I felt grateful. How could I complain about a delay when I still had my health? During the two hours we waited, I met two men around my age, one a musician, the other an engineering student. We spoke about life and our different paths. I also met a grandmother travelling with her family. In my limited Turkish I explained that I was walking from the UK to Kenya. She smiled, shared some plums with me, and before long we were all laughing together. Eventually we reached Trabzon, where I boarded another bus to Batumi. At the border, my second bus developed its own problems. Another hour and a half disappeared. By the time I finally arrived in Batumi it was around 2 a.m. The apartment I’d booked had gone to sleep. My SIM card wasn’t working. I was exhausted, irritable and unsure what to do next. Thankfully the bus station had Wi-Fi. I booked another place, found a taxi and, after another wait, finally got into bed. The next morning I realised my glasses had disappeared, not my Oakleys 😭 I need them to see. I checked the CCTV. I arrived wearing them. Now they were simply… gone. I searched every pocket, every bag and every corner of the room. Nothing. I began to think of all things to steal, why glasses But what can I do? Nothing. I laughed to the thought that I hope they are useful wherever they end up. accepted the loss, checked out and got on with my day A few hours had passed and i had just checked in to my hostel, There I saw a Software engineer working and immediately my brain went back to the project I’m building. I want to code, I put my Mac near the ladder and climbed down the stairs of my bunk, As I climbed down, in slow motion. I watched it fall. It landed directly on its corner. Before I’d even opened it, my mind raced. The delays. The missing glasses. The cost of replacing everything. How could I have been so careless? Maybe the screen would be okay. I opened the lid. It wasn’t. Broken. For five or ten seconds I just stood there, replaying everything that had happened over the last day. Then an elderly man walked past me in the hostel. He wasn’t the same man from the bus. But he reminded me of him. And instantly, I remembered the blind man standing in the middle of that beautiful sunrise, unable to see any of it. I took a deep breath. Accepted that the laptop was gone. And felt grateful. Because if I am to loose anything, I’d much prefer it to be a thing every single day My glasses. My laptop. Money. Possessions. After 257 days of walking the world, carrying everything I own on my back, crossing countries alone and facing whatever the road has thrown at me, I still have my health. I still have my legs. I still have my sight. I still have the people I love. There have been countless moments on this journey where things could have gone far worse, many I was probably never even aware of. Yet here I am. Healthy. Walking. Alive. Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” This time, in that space, I chose gratitude.
Time for Georgia
OOOOOOOH I'm looking forward to this one, I'm most excited for two things, Working out, and Working. This isn't a rest trip. I've got goals and I crush my goals. I enjoy my work because it's purposeful. It's the vehicle between where I am and where I'm going. When I start working I fall deep into a flow state and there's nothing I'd rather do. If time/circumstance permits, I have a few things I'd like to do that are unlikely but what the heck here's my unrealistic but awesome if it happens list: 1. MMA in Dagestan 2. Horse riding 3. Do something with East Duo the group that made Chubina 4. Hiking with the little bro 5. I think those 4 suffice
Moving forward - Day 246
10 days ago I was in a hotel, Paralysed by an inability to make a decision, Do I continue as I am? Restructure my approach? Quit? Can I continue as I am? That feasibility report was akin to a pin slowly deepening itself into my skull, I will admit I was frozen from action, How to proceed was beyond me, In the end I decided just proceed, See what happens, This isn't rock bottom, I would know rock bottom, I wouldn't have anything to think about, The decision would be made by circumstance. And I did so, Quickly I was reminded an important lesson, Einstein once said "Life is like a bicycle, you fall of when you stop moving" Whenever I stop, The wave of insecurity against my feat engulfs me, I find myself fighting the waves, The more I resist, The more water fills my lungs, Once I am moving however I float, I progress, Lesson: Keep moving, make decisions when moving, Make decisions from a position of strength, Don't even linger on feasibility in stagnation. It is in the midst of movement where the brain feels most empowered, and in those moments there is no task too big Current status: I walked my way to Gelibolu (ish) couldn't make it by nightfall so I did get a bus for the last bit, Reasoning, I am currently back in Istanbul, In preparation to climb mount Uladag. Before retuning to the road. Do I have questions around fitness, finance and future of course. This is when the 4th F come's in. Faith. You cannot do what I do without it, I know all good that has come to me is deliverence, I don't even know how many bad's I have been saved from, how many cars have missed by 10cm, How many aggressive animals I missed by 5 minutes, How anything can happen, I am thankful for my safety, security, and ability to continue. Moving forward we are climbing now, weather is going from averaging 30 degrees to averaging 35 :/ The challenge is real.
Do I need to restructure
I'm now on my 3rd night and second day in a hotel. I arrived here on day 235 and am leaving on the morning of 238. I have my own calendar. Nice. On day 235 I knocked out, 236 I slept for 16 more hours. 237, I didn't leave. I didn't want to. I had decisions to make about walking the world. Like, Can I walk the world? Is it possible? This wasn't based around me, arrogance aside, I can do anything. but is it feasable? Do I currently have the resources to pull it off? In large part the answer was a resounding NO I have less than £50 in my account for the 3rd time in 3 months, I have spent a week with less than £1. Relative to recent time's this is me up... hahaha maybe i should laugh at it. So I spent my day mostly in deliberation. Of what is to come, and how I can salvage my journey. I came to a conclusion. Abandon walking, Just get to Kenya by any means necessary. This is something I liked while also hurting me, the thing is I like walking, for all it's cons and they do exist, This is my thing, And I enjoy it, Labouring, tiring, repetitive, OF COURSE. Worth it? Unquestionable. I spoke with a close friend of mine, I refer to him internally as the advisor, he never tells me what to do, he just asks questions, This is how advisors should be, He asked, "Can you think of 3 ways to keep going" 3 was a good number, I ran out of excuses by 2 and now I had to think. The truth is it's still doable, I just need to adapt, and keep adapting, Finance exists, I just have to work for it, Compensation received is proportionate to value given. If contributions are on a decline, for whatever reason be it novelty has worn off, That is me no longer living up to my end of the value proposition. Hah Economics and Earl Nightingale both still true even 238 days into a walk around the world! Well Ralph Emerson said "A man is what he thinks about" This is also the secret from "the secret", this is also a part of "The secret to success" by Earl Nightingale. So maybe I need to take a different approach. That is something I can do. Maybe rather than hiding behind money, I have to bring it to the foreground, Shine a light on IT and what i'm doing about IT. Maybe that's the way forward. OK. After all, in healthy relationships Money must be discussed ;) Today morning I will wake up, I will walk myself to vodafone and I will spend on 30gb, I still need internet And moving forward I will restructure and optimise my postings, maybe it's time that the days of just posting my day are behind us, maybe those videos stay, maybe i walk less and edit more, maybe there's a lot of maybe's, what's most important is creating a pipeline to keep my dream alive, maybe I need to push through the absolute shittiest of shit times to show another they too can, I thought of abandoning the walk, Instead I will abandon my fears. Onward. - Swae