What's the difference?

Will power or Ego? Day 237, with 2 hours to leave I find myself asking all manner of questions. These are all based around feasibility, sustainability, fatigue, and the list goes on. What kick started this thought process? I think it's a mixture, Youtube revoking my monetization and having to wait a month and legally register a uk business to continue... a real spanner in the works, I finally had a system that I could of relied on for consistent revenue thrown away. I can't lie to myself, that hurts, it brings a lot of confusion, it's what I was working towards and now... it's a slap in the face. Let's say the quiet part's out loud, My content strategy is failing and I question why I do it. Often times I think that I don't until I remember the video's were never for content. They were for me. Financially, I don't know if I can pull this off, the fatigue of it all is draining. My well has dried up, the days of buymeacoffee are behind me, the paypal support is distant. My own funds depleted, and now my latest source of revenue paused indefinitely. I'm surprised i'm still going, Is it ego or commitment, Will I be proud of myself if I pull it off? or was I just stubborn in not quitting? If someone asks me what's the plan, it get's embarrasing real quick. I suppose this would be easy for me, if not for finance. One thing for sure though, I am not making another video talking discussing circumstance. it's a horrible feeling. Instead maybe I have to look even further inwards, I have to ask the question. What more can I do? Is it time to abandon authenticity? Is it time to dramatise life for viewership? It must be time for something different? What that something is I'll need to think about. If you're reading this, just know. I'm doing my best.