The Cafe

im sat in a cafe, i extended my stay in istanbul prior to starting to walk through turkiye by one more day. a new country im starting off, and it's with a lot of logistical challenges, im thinking about data, money, and safety. right now my job is to get some videos out, i just got monetised on youtube, that should help hopefully, i see in my first 24 hours and made £2.10 - though its a far cry from truly being able to live of, it's a start, it's something, hopefully something i can build from, im surprised by my tolerance to stress and how that's grown, exposure therapy is doing it's thing, my friend gave me £250, he told me i can pay him back whenever i can pay him back, i don't think he understands that scale of that gesture in my life right now, i kind of like that im battling the odds so much, yet im still here, last night i had a conversation with another software engineer, it was good, he was in a similar place to myself and that's what led us to meeting in a hostel, a very cool man, a turk who has moved to germany, he showed me around, and provided historical context to the sights we were seeing, i couldn't help but think, i wish i could record this, i loved it and therefore i knew others would, still i kept my camera holstered, do i still believe i can pull this off, yes, but i need to get incredibly lucky, over and over again, one bad roll can end my journey, I am still yet to hit that point where the game changes, still i will do my best.